14 “Then he said: ‘The God of our ancestors has chosen you to know his will and to see the Righteous One and to hear words from his mouth.
Talk about getting a big assignment. Here is that big and clear purpose about to be laid on Paul. His response is no hesitation, he goes and does exactly as God has directed him.
What am I doing that God is directing me to do? I told you I have been feeling anxious, I attribute it to work. We are failing to hit some key dates, we have some people challenges. It all makes me feel restless. I was asked last week by our associate pastor to participate in this year's Journey3 class--some deep self study from October to April about where I have come from and where I am going in my walk with God.
I told him no yesterday because I just don't see how I fit it into my schedule without getting more anxious. Maybe I am making a mistake? Maybe I need to make room for it so I have more clarity in my purpose? Maybe this is where my anxiety is coming from? I'm not there yet. Not ready to commit but I'm sharing my internal struggle with you. its probably 8-10hrs a week, not that much and yet so hard to think about finding.
Paul didn't hesitate in his commitment--that is what is sparking my wondering thoughts.
knut
I definitely don't have any answers for you...but, I can tell you a realization that I came to lately.
ReplyDeleteWhen I got promoted to this current position at GM, I was in the midst of being middle school small group leader, and leading a couples small group along with Kim. It was a lot. But, my mental state was pretty good. Then I decided I'm too busy to do all of that. So, I dropped the middle-school deal....and then also dropped being a leader for the couples group.
Funny thing is, when I think back. I was much happier then. I don't know if it was the juggling of it all, or maybe just being more aligned with God's mission. But, I need to get back to that, even if it means a busier schedule for me.
I think it talks to my heart. I have stepped back from my "God" commitments, to help facilitate by job. Right now, there is nothing forcing me to stay on track in thought or life. We go to church on Sunday morning, but that's really all. I can stray quickly from the right train of thought.
Just something I've been thinking about. I thought it was close enough to what you're asking to write it out.
It seems pretty weak when I read back through it. But, strength can be found in weakness.
yep same kind of struggle. Worldy stuff pushing out or minimizing time with God. I know it but at the same time its hard to make the choice to be even busier.
ReplyDeleteknut