12 But God said to Balaam, “Do not go with them. You must not put a curse on those people, because they are blessed.” 13 The next morning Balaam got up and said to Balak’s officials, “...the Lord has refused to let me go with you.”...20 That night God came to Balaam and said, “...go with them, but do only what I tell you.” 21 Balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey and went with the Moabite officials. 22 But God was very angry...
This chapter confused me at first when I read God said go with the men then when he did God was angry. I dug around and found a few different views on why God was angry. What makes the most sense to me is that God knew Balaam's heart and that he really wanted to go with them men. He said God wouldn't 'let' him go. Its the same for me when I try to instruct my kids, sometimes they are obedient on the surface but its begrudgingly. From one perspective I am thankful they respect me enough to do something that is different than they want but the other part of me is irritated that they don't just trust me enough to listen to my instruction without having attitude or doubting the my reasons for asking them to do something.
It makes it easy for me to understand how God could say ok I'll let you go but still be ticked. His initial instructions were very direct. Do not go with them. He also sees that while Balaam obeys this he doesn't even tell the Balak officials why he can't put a curse on the Israelites.
How many times does God nudge me to do something and I don't? How must that make him feel? I need to listen and take action even if it is against my own personal preference. Listening through time of prayer is probably where my #1 weakness exists. If I don't spend that time with him how will I know how he wants to use me?
long winded today
knut
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